Pre-Missing Sweetie

Sweetie came for a visit this weekend. As usual she made a dent in my wallet, but I really don't care. I have enough for an occaisional dent and ding. All of this and the fun we had left me in a strange place this morning.

I pre-miss her. I actually had eye leakage contemplating the fact that in a few short months she will be a plane ride and not a car ride away from me.

I'm not sure I'll survive that.

I know this is the best thing for her future, but she is heart and soul of my life along with her brother. I may not have been hovering and in every nook of their life the past few years, but I have always been a mere phone call away. I have had their company and inflicted mine on them at least a couple of times a month.

To go months without any physical contact may kill me. How do parents do this? How do they loosen their grip on their children enough so those kids can start the story of their lives?

I'm having a tough time with it this morning. I have more than enough to contemplate with my own changes, but I can only think about how I want to go kidnap her from her Dad's place and make her spend every available moment with me before she steps on that plane to her new life.

I will find a way to deal with it. I always do, but this is a tough one.

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starchini said about 3 years ago ...

I don't know how parents do it Uni....I can't even imagine...generally all the kiddos in my family have remained quite close to their immediate family. We just don't spread our wings and fly that far I guess. I feel you though, even though my son is only 2 I still think about that stuff a lot and even now it bereaks my heart. I really don't know how parents manage to get through it. Hopefully you guys will see eachother as much as possible. You can send eachother care packages, your so good at that. Maybe even write actual letters to one another. Sometimes when people are farther apart they have to make more of an effort to remain close, that little extra effort can open up a door to a whole new world of closeness that might have not been there before...I dont know, im talking out of my butt...but I hope it made you feel a teeny bit better.

sweetsoul said about 3 years ago ...

Speaking from experience you'll survive because...

You're a survivor You'll put your desire for your daughther's happiness ahead of your missing here Because it means you've done a good job as a Mom for her to take this step in her life Because you're a smart woman and realise that this is just another step in your ever changing life Because just like you did before, you'll find ways to stay connected Because you know that she's not gone from your life. She's still one of the most important parts of your life

And bottom line...because you have no choice. You'll do just fine.

uniquely-learning said about 3 years ago ...

star - it did, and I still have no idea how I'll get along without her coming to destroy my budget and mess up my house on a regular basis.

sweet - funny how you do things because you only have a succeed or fail option.

woman said about 3 years ago ...

It's not easy. You know it's right and you're proud of her but it's not easy. You'll be ok though, of that I'm sure. This is just another transition in your relationship, not unlike her toddling off to kindergarden for the ifrst time and you wondering how that happened so quickly. There is charm in every stage of our children's life and you will find the charm in this. The bond won't break with the distance. Contact will be maintained and when you do get to pull her in for a hug it will be even sweeter than before. And yet, I know it's not easy. Try not to miss her till she boards that plane. There are so many good days left.

uniquely-learning said about 3 years ago ...

woman - I'm making the most of every precious moment. She'll probably get more spoiled than usual for a while.

wombat said about 3 years ago ...

It is a tough one, uni. I know because I moved away from my son before he even got to this point. But I always felt like he was "back home" where he was until he decided to move away from there and start his really, real adult life. He has a new job, a fiance, and a sort of step-child already--and where was I?

I feel for you, but I know that this is just the way of life. I comfort myself by making sure he is ok and happy, and then tell myself that as long as he is, I don't even care what happens to me. Everytime we talk on the phone and he says he loves me, my heart aches for those days when he was so little and doing that. But life goes on. I can only look forward to the day when we will be in the same room together again and I can hug that grown-up that I helped create. He's too busy creating his own future to be worrying too much about that right now, and it sucks for me, but hurray for him. I think they hate it when we hang on too tight, but then they soon appreciate it and treasure it when we do.

uniquely-learning said about 3 years ago ...

wombie - I think you do understand the dilema of not holding on too tight and yet taking advantage of every chance to get a hug or I love you.

wombat said about 3 years ago ...

I do understand, even though I don't think I'm too happy about it. But I guess it's like they say, "You don't own your children---they live through you." Peace be with you!

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