Unexpected Twist

I am utterly upset right now. Yet at the same time I'm trying to stay positive. Lots of conflicting emotions. An hour ago I was peaceful and thinking about going to bed by 9:30PM ... obviously that's out the window.

My husband came home in a flurry, rushing back out with a flashlight to look under the hood of his car. Apparently his water pump decided to shoot shit right at the end of the night. No place open to get a part, no time to work on it even if there was. So tomorrow he'll be driving my car and dropping me off at work. That means my dad will be picking me up from work.

My dad is a whole 'nother situation. He has pushed my husband and I to a point that we're going to have to confront him tomorrow. I will not describe what happened to cause this, so please don't ask. So nobody worries, no abuse, arguments, anger, etc. Something totally unexpected but at the same time concerning. I feel he has hit rock bottom with his drinking. He's also been spending too much time with my uncle. All they do is drink, waste time on stupid stuff, and argue. It has to stop. He's not doing anything around the house, he's always claiming to be unavailable because he has to go down to the other house to do something with my uncle, and when he is home he's too drunk to want to deal with. We're done. Either he's going to cut it out, or we're going to move out, and take our paychecks with us.

The sad part is, all of this has transpired over the last week to week and a half. Things were going pretty smooth and great, and then all of a sudden my uncle starts showing up more often, practically nightly, and here we are. It's unfair and it pisses me off that if confronted, my uncle would play completely innocent, even though he's the one that goads my dad into coming down, and then proceeds to encourage him to drink and carry on ... and then gets mad at him, or pisses him off (sometimes on purpose just to get him to go home while mad because he knows he'll make it home for sure that way ... he admitted this to me) and sends him our way.

I'm done. Just utterly done. This is why I don't interact with most of my family. They are selfish and have no regard for others, they only think about themselves and their immediate vicinity. My dad is easily impressionable and he's an alcoholic, and my uncle takes advantage of it. If he were seeking to help my dad, to help him improve, to help him around THIS place, it might be one thing ... but he doesn't. And so tomorrow I've got to look forward to the task of having a long conversation with my dad and tell him he's drinking too much, he's spending too much time with my uncle and if he doesn't stop then he's going to be out on his ass because we'll move and he'll lose the house.

This is not the good day it started out to be. I feel like I'm paying for all the 'good' I enjoyed earlier in the day. WTF?

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simplyconfused said about 2 years ago ...

It always seems to turn out like that.. really good and then just a major land slide. All that you can do with the situation is to have the talk with your dad.. because, correct me if your wrong, it seemed like for a little while he had improved a bit, and was more reasonable? So you know that he can do it, and he knows he can to. If he refuses, and just won't shape up then really there is no point in having it affect you and what your doing in life. If something is keeping you from growing, and staying positive and being happy then you should do what you have to do. I hope the conversation goes well though, and I wish you luck. hug

hegemone said about 2 years ago ...

Simply - Exactly.

uniquely-learning said about 2 years ago ...

Your Dad needs to be in a twelve step program if he wants to live. He needs to stay away from alcohol and the friends and family who drink. I'm sorry it's come to that.

starchini said about 2 years ago ...

Yea hege, seems kinda clear your papa needs to be rehabilitated. Sometimes if they are judged a harm to themselves then they don't even need to consent to rehab. Sorry your day ended so shitily.

wombat said about 2 years ago ...

I won't ask, but sounds like you are still in a shaky situation. Maybe on down the line there will be a way for you guys to move out and leave some of this stuff behind while still being involved as much as you can to direct things on paths that are good for all concerned.

hegemone said about 2 years ago ...

Uni - That's definitely true that he needs to go through some kind of rehab, and thanks for reminding me because we looked through a bunch of places that had financial assistance but at the time he was trying to get a job and wasn't sure if he could commit the time. Now that he's going for disability (his back has just deteriorated worse and worse) and can't really work it may be more of an option now.

Star - Yup, he's definitely not taking care of himself and it's time he did.

Wombie - I think I'm gonna put pressure on and see what it tells me, I'll know how to react then, whether it be planning to move out when we are able....or him getting help and beating his alcoholism.

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