One night stand

Yes, I have had another one nighter. Turns out she had a kid. Shame because she's fuckin' excellent in bed. Afterwards she told me she was a single mother.

She knew about my ex, because I told her. She told me we could try and make things work. I asked her, 'what's the most important thing in your life', and without a moments hesitation she replied 'my daughter'.

'That means it can never be me'.

'Please, we could make things work', she said, and touched my face.

I looked into her eyes, and saw that she wanted me. But she has a child, and that child would come before me. She's put my money and business second to the wants and needs of her daughter.

'Don't fucking touch me', I said, and left.

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starchini said almost 3 years ago ...

Its only a one nighter if both people consent to one night only.

Sounds like you just shoplifted the pooty from a single mom to me...

seer said almost 3 years ago ...

Didn't know she was a mother until afterwards.

starchini said almost 3 years ago ...

lol, well I hope you last got her name.

I understand not wanting to lead her on...but jeez, "dont fucking touch me" was a bit excessive. Frankly, either you are incredibly desireable or she was crazy needy to be begging like that. Pretty pathetic to beg a man to stay after he dropped a load and rejected her child. So its certainly no loss for you, but I think it was a bit mean, just my worthless two cents...

Better luck next time!

seer said almost 3 years ago ...

Yeah its my trust issues again. Won't go near single mothers, don't trust 'em. Or not single mothers for that matter. Or maternal women. I felt lied to that she didn't tell me before or obviously wouldn't have slept with her.

starchini said almost 3 years ago ...

Yea...seems like a mom that would sleep with a man and keep a child secret until after and beg him to stay, is really really really lonely, sad lonely.

Trying to imagine what circumstance I would be under in order to do that, it'd be pretty pathetic and sad. She was prolly afraid you would act exactly like you did, in hopes getting to know her a bit you would feel differently. I bet she is just really really lonely...

Or a clingly slut, who knows, not me, im wrong all the time.

uniquely-learning said almost 3 years ago ...

Maybe she thought it wasn't his business until after they had sex. No deception, but no entitlement. She dodged a bullet if you dumped her if you are self centered enough to think a person can't love more than one person.

d6fer said almost 3 years ago ...

I think she got what she gave if she was willing to sleep with you before getting to know you.

lucyt said almost 3 years ago ...

Gotta say I agree with Uni's last sentence.

queenparanoia said almost 3 years ago ...

dude... i know you want to be honest and all but "dont fucking touch me" was harsh.

you know i could say all my opinions about men like you who doesn't want women who has children or maternal, but at least if there's one positive i could say is that at least your honest about this.

i really hope you could find the woman youre looking for. even though i know an "ideal" woman does not exist. every one has some cracks and mistakes in life. nobody is perfect.

seer said almost 3 years ago ...

Maybe she thought it was none of my business, maybe its because I told her about what happened with my ex and how I'd never have a relationship with a single mother or anyone maternal. I made this perfectly clear to her before we slept together. Of course, if she said 'I've got a daughter but want a bit of fun', it would be totally different, but to sleep with me and then tell me.... Well what the hell do you expect.

Its like my ex. When I left I got her phone disconnected, cancelled her credit and debit cards (both in my name), and took her transport (she lost her licence and I had a car), and drained the last of the money in the shared account to "reimbursable" myself for the £4,500 she took of me.

Not being funny but I did tell her we had to sort out the relationship, I was leaving notes, telling her, writing e-mails ETC for six months saying she needed to get rid of her stupidly expensive phone contract, and stop having weekends away.

I'm fair, not an asshole. I had a fuck buddy I got really attached to, but that's my problem, because she told me she wasn't having a relationship with me. If I tell a girl I won't have a relationship with a single mother, but they decide to not tell me about their kid, and I leave, what do you expect me to do?

uniquely-learning said almost 3 years ago ...

Seems like you're letting your ex control your future relationships. That's a lot of power for an ex to hold over you. Each person is a new story but you seem to think all books read the same. Now maybe this woman wasn't the one, but was it really neccesary to be so fucking rude?

queenparanoia said almost 3 years ago ...

seer: i understand. like i said you were just being honest with her. i guess she thought that maybe when you guys get attached you'll then accept her daughter. i admit that was a mistake on her part because she should been honest from the start. anyway i hope you can really find the woman your looking for. although it would be hard because most women want kids.

seer said almost 3 years ago ...

UI- I was lied to. I trusted her enough to sleep with her then she told me she has a daughter. In my opinion, that's trying to snare me. So yes I did need to be that fucking rude. Respect me enough to be honest and I'll respect you back.

I'm not letting my ex 'rule' my future relationships. I just really don't want kids. Or, so it would seem, to be in a relationship where I'm a step dad. Why? Because women put their brats first, above everything. My ex did just that - a brat would want something and I'd have to delay important business matters because my money was put to anther use.

And the holidays - family holidays - shudders. In the past 10 years, I've had bike holidays, climbing holidays, and before I became crippled, I used to have kayak and snowboarding holidays. Family holidays, shit I'd rather stay at home.

wombat said almost 3 years ago ...

Told my current (made a special effort) before our first date that I had a child. He asked, "How old?" Then he said, "We'll work around it."

And he did.

You didn't get told first, which is different. You want what you want and need to be told first. No harm, no foul. Just make sure next time, if that's how you feel.

seer said almost 3 years ago ...

I made it perfectly clear to her that I wouldn't have a relationship with anyone with a kid or anyone that wanted one.

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