Yakkstr

My life is a mess

Last year I had a home and a family. This year I'm a borderline alcoholic living in a single room with my bike being my only asset. I hang out at bike rallys. My body is a mesh of scar tissue, deformed bones, and pitch-black tattoos.

I'm alone, really.

Sometimes I think about what I had, that home, that loving family, and look at this wreckage of what's left.....

And thing this is JUST what I want.

report |
lucyt said almost 3 years ago ...

never, only or just

We all have the power in ourselves to change our lives, it is entirely up to you. Do you want that change? or is it easier to feel sorry for yourself.

Devils advocate here I know its always easier to say than do.

Perhaps it is your time to learn to enjoy being on your own, in your own company, perhaps when you have mastered that and truly enjoy it will you find other parts of life to enrich and be enriched with?

uniquely-learning said almost 3 years ago ...

the energy we put into others always finds a way back to us. If you want a change, make that your gift to others and it will find you as well.

starchini said almost 3 years ago ...

Doesnt it just suck big time when we get exactly what we want and it turns out its not so great...I spose the grass isnt always greener on the other side. Funny how you were mostly single you whole life (right?), then you inherited this little family, they turned out to suck so you left'em, and now here you are....interesting how circumstances change with experience. I hope you get what you want, just cause you wanted this, doesnt mean you gotta be done, now you can go and want and get something else : )

seer said almost 3 years ago ...

Sorry the blog may have come out wrong. 'This is JUST what I want', I meant having my life being a mess is perfect. I like being a single, borderline alcoho-frolick biker!

starchini said almost 3 years ago ...

Ahhh yea...a "Im so happy" at the end would have cleared that up for me : ) Tone is so hard to convey over blog. Well then whoo hoo!!!

wombat said almost 3 years ago ...

We like what is familiar, but we yearn. Who are you at the end of the day?

(I ain't looking in that mirror but I have one)

queenparanoia said almost 3 years ago ...

well its better to be alone than to be with your ex again... she was horrible!

withoutshade said almost 3 years ago ...

It's quite amazing that sometimes what may seem like the worst of circumstances is best of times. It great to hear you're enjoying life!

seer said almost 3 years ago ...

tonight I'm going out on my bike with a friend on the back. We're going to ride through the sunset and into the night. The route we have planned is about 4 hours. Then we're going to stay up all night drinking and listening to heavy metal. I'd really like to have a quiet evening in though with the family, have dinner, watch a CSI re-run, then take the kids swimming in the morning.... NOT!!!!

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